Maybe the desire is getting my truck running when it won’t start.

I have that desire, and now I’ve got to go “get it.”

That might mean I need to go get a part. Maybe I can’t afford the part. Maybe there’s the added anxiety of being late for work and, “If I’m late one more time, the boss said I would get fired.”

Suddenly one simple desire has generated a host of problems.

And that got me thinking about something.

Problems are what make life interesting. And I think they start with desire.

Until there is a desire, there are no problems.

As soon as I have a desire, I have to go get that which I desire, and there is my first problem. I have to go get it. That might present a host of problems depending on the circumstances, but that’s how problems develop.

That is what all of life is, a series of problems to solve. That’s the spice of life. The solution to one problem is often the beginning of the next.

Everyone has some sort of desire.

I once read that if I reduced my desires in life, the things I want, I would begin experiencing fewer problems.

That’s kind of the message in many religions and faiths. I am supposed to let go of my clinging to things in this life, and as the Bible says, store my treasures on the other side where thieves cannot steal and rust cannot destroy.

That means taking my gaze off this world and preparing for the next, whether someone believes that is Heaven, the afterlife, reincarnation, or something else. At least, that’s how I interpreted that verse.

I started applying what I had read and began letting go of the things I clung to in life, the things I thought I “couldn’t live without.”

That’s all stuff in this world.

As I caught myself wanting things from other people and began stopping it, I noticed that most of my interpersonal relationships improved.

It’s like I had to do an inner investigation on myself, as if I had called Internal Affairs on myself.

“Hey, check this guy out. He wants things from other people that he’s not even aware of. Things like respect, recognition, and significance.”

That’s what a decent twelve-step program can feel like.

In this investigation, I am the lead Internal Affairs investigator.

“I detect corruption and dishonesty. Let’s get all these doors open.”

I’m kidding, mostly.

One thing I had to remind myself during this process was to be gentle with myself during self-examination. Gentle, but honest.

I guess in this process I am both the lead investigator and the lead suspect.

I want the truth so I can improve myself, but when it comes down to sentencing, I have to remember not to send myself to death row over my offenses.

A lot of people become their own harshest critic, and I was one of them. When I made a mistake in life, internally I could beat my own ass like a UFC fighter.

I had to learn to say something more like this:

“I am sentencing you to house arrest, however with full travel privileges. Basically do whatever you want, but don’t do that again. I will throw my gavel at you next time.”

I also had to remind myself that the saying, “All humans are seeking joy, an end to their suffering, and can only operate at the highest level of wisdom they possess at the time,” applies to me too when I examine my past for errors I wish to correct.

As I let go of many of my desires, and also many of my opinions and preferences, which are really just another form of desire, life became easier very quickly.

The more I gave up, the easier and more enjoyable life became.

I still have problems. Life still moves forward, and I will always have some level of desires and preferences.

I once heard someone say, “That’s all we are as humans. A culmination of our likes and dislikes. Our opinions and desires, that’s who we are.”

I didn’t respond when the person told me that. I never do right away, because a lot of times I don’t fully understand what people are saying when they say something like that.

They’ll say something crazy like that, and I have to go mull it over and let it marinate for a week or more.

Then one day I’m sitting on the toilet and it hits me.

“Dammit. He’s right.”

But here is something I noticed.

As I did this work on myself, the problems I experienced in life began to improve.

They were still problems. They still felt like problems, there is always a little stress at first, but the problems themselves became better problems.

The entire nature of the problems I faced in life sometimes even became a pleasure to deal with because I found them stimulating. They were problems I was more equipped to deal with.

Part of the work I have done on myself is learning to make sure the desires I pursue in life are actually my own honest desires, not things motivated by people-pleasing or other codependent behaviors.

(See? CODA is a great twelve-step program.)

When I pursue my own honest desires instead of someone else’s expectations, the problems become vastly more stimulating. I am now pursuing something I am actually interested in.

When I solve a problem and get closer to the goal, the act of solving the problem itself becomes rewarding.

I get a little dopamine hit.

“I am getting closer.”

That’s one way the problems in my life improved when I started doing work on myself.

I didn’t eliminate problems.

I just started getting better ones.