I have it that distilled down, ultimately the only thing I can truly control in life is that which “I” choose to focus my attention on, the decisions I make and the actions I take.

Not much else.

When I am entranced by my internal thoughts it requires active effort to catch myself and to instead focus on my breath going in and out of my lungs.

“I” can choose to focus my attention on my internal thoughts (like watching an internal TV), or “I” can choose to focus on my internal breath.

I cannot focus all of my attention on both at the same time because, as ACIM points out, “The mind cannot serve two masters.”

Controlling that which I focus my attention on does take effort.

If I allow myself to just be in my thoughts, “I” am essentially on autopilot, letting my ego run amuck while “I” watch the show (which often doesn’t go along with my personal preferences and desires).

In such a state, I feel as if I have no control, my life constantly being disrupted as I react to things life tosses into my experience.

In a daydream, I am numbing myself. I am no longer present to life here and now. Instead, I am there, focused in my daydream.

When “I” am spiritually aware of such things, “I” make decisions. I begin to respond via conscious decisions.

I cannot control life itself, but I can control me in it.

I can control the decisions that I make.

It’s like I’m a ship in the ocean.

I can control the rudder.

I cannot control the wind, waves, or current.

But, I can control the rudder!

Meditation is like going to the gym for me.

I practice attempting to concentrate my focus on my finger tapping or breath, and continually catch myself focusing on my internal thoughts.

I’ve been on autopilot for most of my life, so it’s easy to do.

In my meditation, “I” catch myself focusing on my thoughts, and forcibly refocus my attention back to my internal breath.

The more I practice, the easier it gets for me.

Just like working out.

I start taking an active role in the direction of my life in such a manner.

Anyway, tube!

I love you all.